// a few things (more emailing)
| 10/25/2005 - 3:31 p.m. |

Email to Pat, Subject: a few things, Mon, 10-24-05, 11:51pm
Hiya,

Two things first that I forgot to ask you today:

1) I was wondering if you might call Dr. Rosenberg before I see her on Friday?? I have difficulty sometimes articulating to her how I'm doing in specific terms--I don't know if it's a language thing or the gaps of time between visits or what. But that's just generally, and I know I'm not going to be able to explain things to her right now. Especially in light of my med questions and...so, could you?

2) Less practically, I never really asked what you thought of the stuff I'd emailed you, and I'm curious obviously. This and the other thing below, I don't necessarily need an email response. Just putting it out there so I don't forget again.

..Um, and the last thing I was just thinking about afterwards today. Obviously I also want to hear more of your thoughts on what I've been reading, understanding of course that so far I have been pretty focused myself on just reading (WHY, again, still don't know, but whatever). But there was one thing that just stood out to me I guess, when you asked if that was the first time C. had ever hugged me? Took me by surprise or something, I'm not sure. I guess from *my* perspective, it sounded like such a bizarre question. Like, uhhh, NO/hardly/whatchutalkinaboutwillis?? But anyway, so that made me curious as to, well, how the relationship sounds to an "outside" perspective...I'm so not saying this right. Damn brain. Damn words...I guess, basically, I want to know your thoughts on that relationship, your *honest* ones--yes, i suppose that could go w/o saying, but my point is I'm not needing/wanting/expecting a particular response, or any *insert-psycho-babble-qualifier-of-your-choice* thing. Am I even making sense???

ANYways...so I'm gonna audit the Linux class. Yay for Auditing!

Yeah, so let me know on #1 if you could.

Really tired,
M.



Reply from Pat, Tue, 10-25-05, 9:17am
Good morning, M.,

I would be happy to call Dr. Rosenberg and fill her in before Friday. I can imagine how overwhelming it might feel to imagine finding the words yourself. I'm glad you asked.

I also would be happy to offer my thoughts on any or all of what you've sent me or read to me. I haven't wanted to intrude or interrupt your process. We can talk about my thoughts and reactions whenever it feels right.

We can also discuss my impressions of your relationship with C. anytime you like. My question about the hug was really coming from a place of wanting to understand. I was imagining how emotional that day at lunch must have been. It occurred to me that if it had been the first hug it would have been an even more powerful and wrenching experience for you.

The auditing sounds like a perfect solution. Great idea! Yeah, auditing!!

Hope you got some good sleep last night.

Hope today goes well although it promises to be another ugly day, weather wise.

Pat