// direct from...me
| 12/18/2005 - 3:23 p.m. |

email to Pat
Pat,

Hey...did you and Tacie have a nice meal at Fatty's? Heh. Yeah, so I "found" her on Friday obviously. I definitely think that should go on the recommend restaurants list at frew, don't you? I hope T. enjoyed her hamburger b/c damn, does that woman whine when she's hungry!

...Ok, so that's clearly not the reason I'm writing...rather, according to Dr. Ro anyway, it seems I have some 'things' to say to you. And we know how good at being "direct" I am in person...

It went something like this--
(paraphrasing obviously)

R: I got a call from Pat...she says you're "working hard."

Me: I don't know that I've been 'working' on anything the last couple of weeks.

R: What do you mean? Last time you were here you were talking about stuff w/ C....yaddah, yaddah...

Me: Yeah, still was for a little bit...and then 'something else' came up...hadn't even talked about it w/ C., but then--

R: -interrupting and being nosey- Just give me general idea...Something sexual?

Me: (BLUSH. Kill.Me.NOW. OMG) UhsortaANYway, so--and since then, haven't gone back to the other stuff.

R. Why not?


And that (again) is the question. Rosenberg and I had some interesting discussion of the possibilities, but I'm gonna stick to the practical here...

So, like, what happened on Friday? I said yeah, I guess we should look at the old journals. I'm sitting there, waiting for you to get them out. And then you go off in another direction. Color me baffled.

I don't get it. Ro says, "well, be MORE direct," but I don't know how many times I can say the same thing. I've been as direct as I get. I feel like I'm wasting my time. Wait, no--in this case, I CAN be more blunt. (I can literally feel the truth bitch emerging as I write). I feel like -you- are wasting my time.

I've gone thru every explanation I can think of in my head. Ro and I basically brainstormed on the topic. And the only thing that makes any sense to me is that you are the one resistant to dealing w/it. Which, even if true, I doubt you'll admit, so...

So, that's all I got.

Till tomorrow,
M.



~~~~~~~~~~

reply from Pat, 12-19-05, 10:06am
M.,

Thanks for the heads up. Sorry to hear you feel I've been wasting your time. I think perhaps I have been resistant in that I've been feeling cautious (probably too much) about bringing you back to previous feelings of overwhelm. Maybe that is my stuff? If so, I apologize. In any case, I'm glad you are being direct and directing your own course of therapy. That is certainly your right and (believe it or not) my preference. So, I'll have your journals out and waiting for you upon your arrival today.

See ya later,
Pat