// La la la
| 07/02/2003 - 12:23 p.m. |

Weight holding steady at the moment at

I've been having a whopping *2* 'slimforle$$' a day.
Hoping my metabolism will speed up just a tiny bit, i.e. start functioning at all and I'll begin losing again on that amount.
I do so love taking an hour a "meal" to dig through 11oz. of vanilla-or-chocolate-flavored frozen shit :) :)

Have not eaten any actual food in...day 16 now I think.
Weird.
It's not really such shit though. When you only allow yourself one thing, it suddenly tastes like heaven and you crave it, can't wait till the next one.

I guess that's why I'm bothering taking in anything at all.
Something to look forward to in the endless hours I must sleep-walk through.

And I'm not quite ready to die just yet.
More weight to lose for one, and I will need some strength to get things in order before the last round.

Whether I'll ever have the *mental* strength to put myself out of my misery remains a question, but I always did like coming up with grand master plans...
just not ones for the present, for living a real life.