// November (Pat) emails
| 11/30/2005 - 6:50 p.m. |

Basically, (and for good reason considering my track record) I get paranoid about losing stuff like this (I might need it for my book one day! lol), so I like to post it here as a back-up...So this is whatever wasn't included in other entries...


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To Pat, 11-1-05, 8:58pm, just a (little!) more f-u-n reading
Hola,

Found the paper w/ the interview w/ C. I was looking at the original copy (located in a binder, of course!) and then suddenly remembered, duh, it's gotta be on my website too--hell, what isn't?!

It's in the "my writings" section: http://eatingdisorderresources.com/mywritings.htm...the one titled "Career Path Report." Or just use the direct link: http://eatingdisorderresources.com/writings/careerpath.htm

(The binder, naturally, has the same title, as it contains most of the original copies of the papers listed on said page, and even a few interesting non-ED papers as well. Yup, I actually did write such a thing...every leap year or so, heheh.)

The interview is at the end of the paper. The rest of it is...BAH. Although my Renfrew aside at the end of the "My Plan" section is kinda amusing...More amusing than the old journal entries anyway, hah, which I seem to be avoiding :)

Tis all,
M.


Reply from Pat, 11-2-05, 7:17am
Aloha,

Thanks for the links. I'll check out the "Career Path Report" and the aside on Renfrew. I'll be interested to read both. Thanks for going on the hunt for me. I'd also like to read your non-ED/leap year writing as well someday.

Maybe its okay to take a break from the journal writing if you need to. Listen to your heart on that one.

Enjoy something today!

Til later,
Pat


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From Pat, 11-6-05, 10:56pm, Re: so i did write a little...blah.
Glad you got out to see the sun a bit this weekend. Hope the conference was good. Impressed you "parked" yourself for the memoir writing session. Hope it was worth it. Sorry to hear you self medicated. I did call Dr. R. by the way. I guess you didn't hear from her.

I love Panera's. There is one near my NJ office. It's my new favorite lunch spot.

See ya tomorrow! :-)


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To Pat, 11-10-05, 6:14pm, how i spend my days (hah)
screen shots of my forum as 'promised'
oh well, i amuse *myself* anyway...

attachments: backupindex1, backupindex2


Reply From Pat, 11-10-05, 9:25pm
Very amusing.

You do indeed have a creative (and sometimes a bit sardonic) flair!!!

Thanks for the glimpse.

Have fun!

:-)


Me again, 11-10-05, 10:20pm
Sardonic?? Me??????
shocking.


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To Pat, 11-14-05, 6:52pm, really need to stop doing this to myself...
um, yeah.


copy/paste of un-loved and undone.


Reply From Pat, 11-15-05, 9:38am
M.,

I'm sorry to hear yesterday was so painful after you left me. In session, I found myself being cautious about pushing into exploring your feelings about your body, C. etc. I thought at the time, you might need to distract yourself and take a bit of a break. I think now, that my caution probably does you a disservice. I realize how much pain you continue to carry with you regardless of whether or not we talk about it. It saddens me to think of you alone in your car and alone in your grief. I hope we can talk about your loneliness and your feelings of emptiness when we see each other on Friday. I know how difficult this work is for you. I just want to be there with you and through it as much as is possible.

I hope today does bring a cleaner light.

You remain in my thoughts, M..

Pat


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To Pat, 11-29-05, 5:05pm, more of me and my big mouth
whatever...


copy/paste of opening pandora's box


Reply from Pat, 11-30-05, 8:58am
Hi M.,

Thanks for forwarding your writing this week. I had thought we should probably talk about the door slam on your way out this week. I do realize how hard this work has been for you and continue to admire yor courage in going there. I imagine it all to be connected. I think of it as the challenge with really sharing yourself again, letting me know you. We can go in whatever direction you prefer. If you think it would be more beneficial and maybe even easier to return to your journals and our discussions about C., I can certainly support you in that. I want you to have as much authority in directing your therapy as possible. It is hard to know sometimes because I think we all can use a bit of prodding along the way. I apologize if I went too far on your disclosure last week. I can back off if you would like. I just know how hard it can be to speak a secret and then pretend it is not known. So, let me know how you would like Friday's session to be directed and we'll go from there.

See ya Friday,
Pat


Me again, 11-30-05, 1:45pm
I've never understood why being passive-aggressive gets such a bad rap. It is so very effective ;-P

Nonetheless, there is still this:
>>And now, I just don't want to talk about *anything*. Maybe that was my point? Who knows. I hate this shit.<<

So...yeah.

Can't wait,
*cough*
M.