// ...something...or other...
| 02/13/2003 - 7:47 p.m. |

**post-session email to d.:
D,
Feeling like I want to say something, but can't figure out what. Not even a 'translation' issue, no actual thought I want to express I don't think, just like I feel some pull to say something just for the sake of saying something? So, uhhh...
Travel safe and hope you have an enjoyable vacation.
Randomly,
M.

----------

**part of email to c.:
Hi there,
...edited portion...

Anyways. Weird how I felt/feel so motivated to try and help this person I barely know, and can't find the slightest bit of energy to do a damned thing for myself. I sense this desperation in her, the anguished need for someone to respond, to help, not in any defined way, just SOMEONE to do SOMETHING and right NOW. And it so resonates and mirrors how I feel like all the damned time, unsure of what the hell it is I want/need, but so disappointed by every response from every direction that isn't IT...*struggling yet again for words. that aren't coming*...

So, did you get my e-card? I hope it worked. Another Happy Birthday :-) to you either way! I assume you also got my confuzzled email the day before...

Had last session with D. today before she goes on vacation, won't see her for 2 weeks now. As much as it often seems pointless, I suppose any diminishment in my already meager support system is worrisome. Blahhh...

Happy V-Day...
M.