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32 flavors and then some...

// so...so lame
| 10/25/2005 - 3:27 p.m. |

Mon, 10/24/05, 5:35pm @ school
(from paper journal)

So I arrived at school after my session w/ Pat, sat in the parking lot and proceeded to cut a pattern on my wrist resembling a "C". The latter detail is seriously lame, but I was in a 'creative mood' and that's the best I could come up w/ on short notice.

The former action...I felt no particular need to cut. Had an "urge" sure, but such things pass through my head on a semi-regular basis w/ no follow-through. I just felt like doing it, so I did. Another tough session w/ Pat, reading more journaling and still not really knowing WHY exactly I'm putting myself thru this. And I've been so "good" following these recent sessions, and I felt like being "bad."

Esp. as I am making actually making an attempt at class this week--gonna see if auditing is possible? If not, I dunno...

Anyway, cutting for me always seems so...so inconsequential, so not a 'deal' of any kind. It just feels good, in its own way, but so just a once in a blue moon thing. And whether its a contributing factor or not, I do relatively feel better from 2 hrs ago...



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