// the D word
| 07/18/2005 - 4:52 p.m. |

yeah, so i haven't updated in a shamefully long time.

i've got bunches of written entries from the past 2 months that i may or may not ever get around to typing up and posting.

whatever.

each of my last 3 sessions with pat have gotten progressively worse, pointless, etc.
this follows the pattern that within each session, things have gotten increasingly mind-numbing and/or frustrating.

even pat got sick of sitting there staring at the clock, and finally ended the torture around 7-minutes-till.
"so, you wanna wrap this up for today?"

the thing is--
i'm depressed.

right. duh. i know.
it's not like i have at any point really been in "full remission" in the last year and whatever since frew.

but as i have mostly, comparatively been semi among the living, i have not so often used the word.

but i realized this weekend that no, "blah" or "down" or "tired" or "cranky" or any other such euphemism isn't cutting it.

i am definitively the D-word.

bite me.