// who needs enemies...
| 01/04/2005 - 12:33 p.m. |

monday
(@ frew)

bah, i don't like my mood @ the moment.
it dropped in the past hr or 2.
not digging that.

i was feeling alright.
more or less @ my 'baseline' these days.
pretty much felt ok during session w/ pat.

even though we were talking about the series of:
ugh, yuk, confusing, and/or hurtful occurrences,
that marked the last week or so since i had last seen her.
(i'll get to those later...or not...)

i didn't "feel" the shit till i left i guess.
fabulous.

i had totally forgotten until this afternoon that i also have an appt. w/rosenberg today.
it's not until 6:15, but...
i browsed in border's briefly, and then came on over.

figured if i was gonna catch tacie, it would have to be before 5.
its only fridays that she stays late.
she had even gave me a message thru pat--
that she had gotten my notes last time (heh) +
she had indeed moved offices, + where her new one was.

well, guess who's car isn't in the fucking parking lot.
despite that i know she always parks in the same row in the lot,
i drove around it like 3 times.
i even left + checked the other tiny one down the road.

came back + drove around another time
(and it's not like this one is huge or anything)
and finally parked to write.

i've got all these little residents skipping back +forth across the lot,
right in front of me, for their exercise group.
oy.

i parked b/c i was like, well,
maybe she's driving a different car or got a new one or something.
so i'll sit till 5-ish and watch for her.

its now 5:15+.

i really don't mean to be so stalkerish.
a hug from tacie just woulda been a nice lift today.

well, i guess i'll go waste time @ andorra now before my appt.
hopefully, ro. will cheer me up some--
which she usually does, the goofball...


postscript--
so much for that.
yes, dammit, it does hurt.
it hurts BAD.
but, you're really not helping my mood right now.
barely got out of there before Totally Losing It.
i think i freaked her out a little...