// Just another manaical Bingeday
| 08/11/2002 - 10:22 p.m. |

Yeah, so I had thought/said that I was already sick of this little weekly experiment, but I woke up this morning with the urge to once again stuff my face with shit. Went grocery shopping, and besides my usual 'rexic "food," bought 2 kinds of donuts, strudel, and ice cream sandwiches. Along with my "normal" breakfast of rice cakes and cottage cheese, the total damage was somewhat less than last week, coming in at about 4200. Learned my lesson about leftovers though, and just went and threw them out in the trash bin. Planning to go back to restriction mode tomorrow, which I actually haven't been in for over a week now. Yes, totally hypocritical to what I wrote the other day, but while I don't have like a *desperate* need to lose or cleanse or punish, I also have little desire to very deeply examine my desire to slip back into starvation. I just wanna, dammit. Mom isn't getting in until later in the evening on Fri, so I should have 5 good days of going hungry. And I WILL be hungry I'm sure, since I've let my stomach get all stretched out in the past week. Blah.

Almost went on a little spending binge today as well, and still might before the week is through. There're a sweet deal on a notebook computer (a toy I've been dreaming about for some time now) at Staples this week, and yes I'm broke and unemployed, but I've got all that available credit on my cards just calling to me!!! So I went over to check it out, but they didn't actually have the item in stock and there was some glitch in the system for ordering it, but assuming it gets fixed and there's no catch that I'm missing, its an HP 1.2GHz, 256mb SDRAM, 20gig HD, with ethernet card (there's wireless internet at my new place, and I'm not sure my current puter, a Gateway Astro--which isn't even being made anymore I don't think--is even compatible...is that a perfect excuse or what?! lol), and the all-important DVD/CDRW drive, for $899. Definitely too good to pass up right?? ;-) Not that I need yet another distraction though, seriously got to get my ass in gear on a number of fronts this week...