// everything ok? [to c.]
| 09/05/2003 - 11:50 a.m. |

email to c.
Hey,
Mostly just writing to say I'm thinking about you. Pretty sure you haven't read my last email, from Wednesday, so hoping maybe you are actually taking a little vacation time. Or at least just even busier than usual at work, ya know versus yet another mini- (or not so-) personal/family-crisis.
Yes, I'm a worry wart--I plead I-can't-help-it-it's-genetic, heheh.

Of course, there is always the memeME section too ;-P
Got the form thingy filled out during phone appt with McR. yesterday. Now just have to get it to insurance company, and see what happens�

It's pretty clear that my mom indeed did know there was a major problem long before she said anything about it, basically because she just couldn't handle dealing with it. And I of all people GET the avoidance thing. It�s a nasty little habit/flaw of mine even at my "best" and when I'm like, well when I'm whatever the 'label du jour' is, it is of a truly ridiculous, astounding nature. So, definitely no judgment, anger, whatever from me. Only realization of just how depressed she is and has been. Certainly I've known she's been struggling a lot. **But for her to drop the ball on something this important and having to do with ME no less, it must for some time have been much much worse than I had any idea of.**

Trying to convince myself NOT to bail on going to CM for the day on Sunday for brunch at Alexander's, with my aunt c. and uncle j. as well as the M./C./big and little E. gang, and of course a few hours on the beach.

Overall and relatively speaking, doing "ok." The all-too-quickly-approaching, my-least-favorite-day-of-the-year is naturally fucking with my head a bit, as well as the usual things, but I'm hanging in.

Thinking and worrying--
M.