// so fucking expressive am i
| 03/05/2003 - 2:23 p.m. |

02-26-2003, 3pm: pencil+paper
Bah. I didn't even mean to bring out my journal with me to smoke. Picked up the wrong notebook. Probably a sign though that I should fucking write something. I haven't really in a few weeks--no journal entries, no emails, no TF posts, nothing. Finally see D. tomorrow, its been 2 weeks. And I've been in like a deep coma the whole time, I mean even further withdrawn into myself, worse than ever.

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03-05-2003, email to c.: unsureness continued...
Don't really have much to say, but its 5:30 in the morning and I have yet to be able to fall asleep, so I figure it would be as good a time as any to stop procrastinating and write you a few words. I've composed the beginnings of emails to you in my head probably 10 different times in the past few weeks, once it was obvious I wasn't going to get any response to my last set. (Usually while trying to fall asleep interestingly, so perhaps actually typing and sending one finally will do the trick. *yawn*) Nothing sounds quite right tho (this attempt included but I'm going with it, heh) plus I just want so much to have something, anything, remotely good to report...That seems to be yet another impossible wish though. Anyways, at least wanted to say hi and thinking of you, wondering whats up, etc...
M.

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oh yeah. i'm so fucking expressive, aren't i? can't you just see into my soul? wait, maybe its that i don't have one, maybe THAT's my major malfunction.