// can i leave yet? hah.
| 05/24/2004 - 3:00 p.m. |

mon, 5/24/04, 2:40pm
(pre-pat notes)

lets see, top news of the weekend:
~mom quit job @ Bankers
~my hair is again ronnie red

otherwise nada, been up to not a thing.

genuinely meant to write about thurs session before now, but...
i'm me.

there was a sucky part.
where pat was asking me about food/eating bullshit.
and i was like, nope, not answering, don't wanna, don't wanna.
i did my i-don't-HAVE-an-ed routine.
another one not impressed.

she was also wondering what my obsession with EDs was about then.
w/ my massive library collection--books, articles, etc.
(i didn't even mention the boxes of video tapes!)
and its online version.

i'm like so what?!--
i'm a natural (hoarding)collector.
and based on my personal and academic history--
is it not an obvious focus for my obsessiveness?

whatever.

we also finished looking @ the pictures.

and then there was thing whole thing at the end.
i'm packed up, standing, pat's about to open the door for me.
and she says she thinks i look like i've lost weight.
huh?!

k, granted, part of me was thinking 'really?!!'
but, as i in all honesty told her, ummm, highly doubt it.
not stepping on the scale much these days, but the last time--
definitely not on a downward slope.

and she said well, i'm just worried is all.
w/ the accompanying unconscious gesture of putting her right hand over her heart.
i'm fine, really. fine.
she kept talking, referencing the lack of having confirmation.
(nope, i still haven't made a doc. appt.)
and being concerned.
and something like 'somebody's got to care about you'
uh, uh. i'm fine, really. right. fine.

she's still standing in that same pose the whole time.

and fuck me if it wasn't really "cute."

"are you going to open the door for me now?"
"no, i'm going to keep you hostage."
hah. hah.