// appetites
| 05/23/2003 - 5:49 p.m. |

just finished the book, by caroline knapp (who, er interestingly? ironically? died of lung cancer last year). good book, reminded me of some of kim chernin's stuff, w/o the extensive imagery. plenty i related to. the sort of book, i would ordinarily feel at least moderately inspired by. but nothing seems to have that capacity any longer, to stir me in a constructive manner...

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copy of another 'eat and puke' post:

fuck me.

ate: about a lb of chocolate swirl cheesecake

COULD NOT FUCKING

like couldn't even get a spitful of soda up. i am surely not the most skilled puker, but this is RIDICULOUS. i've got practically my entire arm shoved down to my esophagus. i'm gagging and gagging. nothing. ok, lets try the toothbrush. nothing. drink some more soda? smoke a cig? nothing, nothing, NOTHING.

no more food for me clearly