// my dumbass body
| 06/02/2002 - 11:01 a.m. |

I hate my fucking body. I'm not talking about weight or body image stuff here. I'm talking about how it works, specifically the fact that it works RIGHT, even when its not fucking supposed to. Yeah, I just got my period. Now this is not a big shock, because even when I weighed 80 lbs I *still* didn't lose it. Nevertheless, it fucking pisses me off. And I do not want to hear the oh-but-thats-good-no-damage-to-your-bones crap. Screw my bones. Screw that I am absolutely perfectly fucking healthy when I've done more than enough abuse to my body to be dead. And screw that I starve it and it refuses to shrink, to disappear, to wither and DIE.

Goddamn, no wonder nobody reads this thing. I don't think I've said one good or positive word yet. But thats because I have none. All I feel is pain, all I see is darkness, all I want is escape.