// flashing flags and screaming signs
| 07/15/2004 - 11:40 a.m. |

thu
(pre-pat notes)

got my fucking period this morning.
during the night really--
lovely.

perhaps now i'll at least de-bloat to a more human form?
my fingers have been swollen,
to the pt of being sore like i'd sprained all 10 of them.
wtf is that?!

+ i think the ibuprofen is wearing off already--
ouch.

so yeah,
i'm in a great fucking mood this morning.

~~~~~

not anything new going on really...

when i've been going on tf now the last few days,
its mostly just to post-stalk...

i know if i said what i see,
the screaming red flags...

i'd be scoffed at,
told to just c.f.o.
"don't be such a drag"

...but whatever.
i can't do it anymore.
i just can't.

not that she wants me to.
i'm clear on that.

and i'm done.
i can't watch it.
not yet again.
hurts too much.

i just can't.

fuck, i gotta stay away from that thread.
which really means i should steer clear of tf altogether.

*sigh*

~~~~~

of course, don't wanna talk about any of that today.

which means there is some neon sign flashing on my forehead for pat saying...

blah.

~~~~~

not sure when i'm gonna tackle the midterm yet.
i'd like to do 1 part today or tom.
and the other sat.
but i dunno.