// goddamnitstupidshitmotherfuckers
| 07/26/2003 - 11:17 a.m. |

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!?!?!

my aunt j. just finally asked me if i was 'looking into any treatment programs yet'
i told her i was in 'negotiations' with C.
she tells me she has a 'petition' going at work to have me involuntarily committed if i don't get tx on my own.

WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK?!?!?!

ok, 1--a petition at work??? that makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

2--what the FUCK is WRONG with you people??? goddamnitstupidshitmotherfuckers

i was very very calm.
i said pointedly but nonhysterically, 'don't you dare go there. i've already been through that shit. it is NOT appropriate.'

she says, 'not appropriate? you look like a 10 year old.'

well, DUH.
'it is NOT the way to go.'

'i know you would never talk to me again. but at least you'd be alive. i want you *around* for the next 30 Christmases.'

'you CANNOT force anything on me'--what is so hard to understand about that concept??

'well, i won't as long as you keep up your end of the bargain.'
(as if it was a mutually agreed upon thing, like i had any input)

'i'm doing what i have to do.'

'ok...you need to take better care of yourself' as i mutter 'whatever' and head back upstairs.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!