// halloween...(post-dated)
| 10/31/2003 - 11:05 p.m. |

it's actually nov 7 by the time i'm getting around to post this entry, but whatever.
...a current one will follow.


email to C., Fri, Oct 31, 2003, 6:55am, Subject: happy halloween
hey there,
so...its "tweety's 6th birthday"
hmmm. yeah. not much i can really say about that.
maybe i should 'dress up' as a human being, a functional one even? right, i know, not "amusing".

anyways, latest news is that bluecross has extended my dependent status for 1 yr. so thats "good."
of course it was yet another very vague letter in which they notified us of this, and the 'retroactive' issue was still unclear.
my mom is working on getting that verified...as well as me having an actual *policy* to be covered under.
her cobra expires soon (maybe today even?) and while it seems that mn. is definitely going to offer her a permanent position, they too are in the 'dragging-their-feet' club.
she can still be covered under my father's insurance for now...she has a plan in the works for how i will be covered until(?) she has benefits
again, honestly it was going right over my head when she was explaining, but i know i signed some paperwork the other night, heh.

and word is that my father is moving next weekend.
so hopefully that means i will be too--
--all other things aside even, i feel like this current situation, this house, this i-don't-know-what,
is a primary 'trapping'-factor in my particular sort of funk lately, in terms of my continued fucked-sleep-cycle, even further withdrawal from the outside world, eating-bullshit-that-is-driving-me-loopy, et al...

well...i hope you get to have a good time with i. this evening and what-all.
that's assuming there are other living beings in your vicinity to go trick-or-treating to besides cows or sheep??
hahahah :-P

boo!-
m.

["i." is c.'s son, her youngest kid. i guess he's about 10 now?...]

~~~~~

regarding my reference above to c. to "tweety's 6th bday"...
i wrote a short version of the story in a pm to someone recently (*wink*)
that covers the basics, so just gonna copy it here to explain a bit...


i was in an ed day program fall of '97, felt like i was working pretty hard at recovery, but i don't think i had *truly* committed myself to it, ya know.
so it just happened to be fri, oct 31 when i didn't make a contracted weight, and was therefore to be 'kicked out' of the program.
a whole lot of 'drama' went down that day, in the next week too, but basically i successfully pled my case to stay, and something HUGE just clicked for me that day. not like, oh now i'm all better obviously, but it was the day i committed to recovery FOR REAL.
and remained so 4 1/2+ years...(ok, it'd be a much nicer story if my life hadn't then gone to shit again, but just ignore that, k? lol)
anyways, it was around that time that i got the stuffed tweety that triggered by never-ended obsession with the little bird
part of that obsession is my association of her with all that is healthy and positive *in myself*, so i at some point decided oct. 31 was my tweety's "birthday"
tada, end of story.