// help me?
| 02/10/2003 - 8:43 p.m. |

Feeling very very sad. Not that this is anything new. Just being hit with yet another wave. I dunno if there is a reason for it or not. Maybe yes, maybe no. Whatever. Just drowning in it again. (and again and again and...) So much I want to express, or have known anyways. Don't have the words, or am too chicken to use them, or i don't know what. I just know how much pain I feel, how much loneliness and despair and hate and fear and desperation and paralysis, how much...nothing. I want to scream HELP ME, but its taken me 15 minutes just to type the words on the screen. And what do they even mean anyway? help me who? help me what? help me with? I don't know. Just help me dammit. Ugh.