// locked doors
| 04/01/2004 - 11:50 p.m. |

umm, the front door of pat's building is locked.
there's like 4 buttons, doorbells + call buttons, none of which do anything.

oh, nevermind.
pat just got here herself, unlocked the door obviously.
"have you been here long?"
"just like 2 mins. i was like, 'umm, the door's locked."

nice little bench out here though,
might as well sit + scribble here until its time.

group on tues. was sort of, i dunno, weird for me.

not time to go into it now,
but a few notes to pursue later:
more honesty related issues (sigh.)

like back in the day how i so yearned for the "anorexic identity," how i was secretly gleeful, even as my life was crashing around me, to finally get some kinda 'validation'.

such a sharp contrast to my disdain for that or any other related label.
ah, out of time already...