// stuff + story
| 01/06/2004 - 6:47 a.m. |

email to C., Subject: countdown to 'stuff'---(+ a 'lil story)
hey...

just thought i'd write to state the obvious:
i'm real fuckin nervous for this little appt i've got today
in 8 hours, 51 min....

otherwise, i'm not sure myself what i'm thinking and/or feeling about it.
a whole jumble of stuff...under more stuff.
oh yeaaaaah, HOW eloquent am *I* feeling?!
;-P

so that being said, any uh, 'last words' for me?...

love + 'stuff' ;-P...m.


____________________
P.S. or something:

belated happy new years btw.
guess who actually WENT OUT on new year's eve?!??
hahah.
i think i even had a bit of F-U-N.
(are you fainting in disbelief yet?)
at S.'s insistence I spent the night with her at her friend Q.'s apt downtown.
there was a small group of other people there for a while whom i knew not at all and i'd only met Q. once several yrs back--
but they were a nice laid-back bunch, and it was 'me+S.' so it was fine.
and i was drunk + um, several sorts of high...
oops?
not the like most 'condonable' kind of 'fun' ever, i realize...
but it's *hardly* of any frequent occurence, and/so/any-conjuction-will-do...i feel compelled to share the 'experience'...???...

ok, HOW obvious is it right now that i feel like a freakin teenager 'confessing' to "mom"?!?!
so typical; faintly annoying; still amusing.
this is 'the thing': i am no longer a 'snorting virgin'
it was adderall mind you--picture a jack-osbourne-lookalike setting up the lines & a recently-arrived-me going 'wtf drug is an orange powder?'...
sometime later s. and i are in the bathroom, just-cig-smoking, babbling, laughing...i remember her saying, 'just don't tell c. this story'
heheheh.
that was probably around the time i just absentmindedly took a few hits off the pipe when she handed it to me.
crashed around 2 or 3 maybe?, woke up i do know about 8:30am--
quite sober yet feeling amazingly not-too-awful-considering, and drove home.
and that's the end of storytelling/confession time...