// thank you...
| 01/26/2004 - 3:31 p.m. |

email to C., 3:01pm, Subject: thank you...
thank you, thank you.

it was such a loooong time since i'd heard your voice. and your laugh.
and i love them both.
especially that little laugh of yours.
to be exceptionally CHEESY, it 'makes my heart sing'
i want to be able to hear it all the time--
i want it to be the natural thing i elicit from you, as opposed to the frustration, etc. i do now.

so thank you just for that, first of all, i really needed to just hear you on a literal level.
and i did need to hear your words as well, even if they weren't exactly what i *wanted* to hear ;-P
i needed to hear you tell me to stay with it for now, to promise that i would, in order to do so.

and i need to, at the very least, be really clear about where i am and my perspective with rosenberg and taci.
which i knew and planned on anyways, when i get to see them both again--like i said, i only got to speak to both so far on my admission day/thurs.
and then it was the weekend and all.

oh, i forgot the other part of the convo about you w/rosenberg, heheh.
she was asking what the obstacles were with my working with you again, and i said how one thing i needed to do first was get other more intensive treatment and 'objective' opinions, etc., i.e., renfrew.
and she was like "well good for her. i like her already!"
and of course i gave her a big eye roll and yeah, yeah, yeah.
rosenberg said, 'she's smart, i can tell.'
and i said '(grumblegrumble), she's tough'...and rolled my eyes some more ;-P
so, yeah, she got it from both sides pretty quickly i guess.
thought you would appreciate the little anecdote.
*grumblegrumble*

anyways, thanks for: well, a lot of other things too.
you know the list.
particularly/especially/including the not bailing...it's a deal right?

so i heard the voice and the laugh--let it not be so long till next time, eh?!
and the words.
and i dragged out the 'i love you' (need for reassurance says: it was still sincere, right???)
now i just need the literally SEEING and REAL live *huuuuuuuugggsss*....

in the meantime,
lots of *love* and *HUGS* and *thank YOUs*, etc.--
m.

ps--speaking of YOU...things more or less going ok??
[[big, blubbering mess or not, i DO think and worry about YOU lots, in not-completely-selfish-all-about-ME ways.
in addition to the latter of course ;-P
so wanted to check in/up there also...]]
*mwah*