// another nay vote
| 04/27/2004 - 7:27 p.m. |

Tues, 6:50pm
(pre-Group notes)

here so early b/c i wanted to make sure i had plenty of time to vote.
so i left the house @ 5:30, + ended up being done @ 5:50.

saw david F.--
had forgotten he always works the elections--
at the sign-in table.
hard to believe its the 1st time i'd seen him since moving back here?
he hadn't even known i had.

i just realized i didn't even ask how jamie was doing--
esp. interesting being that i just talked about her a little w/pat yesterday...

so i did my write-in for

it was the least i could do for my conscience + soul.
considering the beating both will take when i have to vote for kerry in nov.



i'm sorta considering sending c. a part of my d-land entry from last night.
like i said, "sorta"--
it hardly feels very..."safe"?



would ya believe its raining again?!
hahah.
being that the only tues. it hasn't now was last week when the car window thing occured--
i think i might get a lil' anxious now if its NOT raining on a tues.--
who knows what catastrophe could befall me??


so, as usual, i'm less-than-thrilled in anticipating group tonight.
i had the thought earlier of wondering how long it would take for any of them to "challenge" me re my total lack of sharing anything, dealing with any 'issues,' etc.
hell even wondering what my deal is practically sprinting out the door the second group ends, my whole group-hug avoidance shindig.
wondering if ever that would happen really.

i mean people are all quite insightful, ask each other good questions--
but, i dunno, sometimes the atmosphere feels a little too 'polite'.
or something.
don't quite know how to describe.
like people aren't really more than surfacely 'connected' to each other??--
of course, that sense could very well be just coming from my own definite disconnectedness.
bladdy, bladdy, blah. (<--my newest written 'sound effect'. heh.)


hmmm...

mom's in training all this week.
than i guess she'll finally be starting work for reals.

sean comes home this weekend--
for 4 months i guess??

my mom mentioned last week or something that he was stressed about one of his film projects.
i'm like, well good!
at least i know mr.-laid-back is actually human!
lol.


have i mentioned the nausea i'm feeling re group in 6 minutes?
its really quite ridiculous.
+ then i still have the long-ass drive home.
its all a very good example of my compulsively fucking myself over,
not really doing shit to actually, ya know, like HELP myself.
baaaahhhh on me...