// yup, yes i will ;)
| 07/29/2004 - 12:55 p.m. |

email to c.
hey!
good to hear from you


>>I am doing okay--too busy and largely overwhelmed and over worked, but okay.<<

hmmm.
whatever am i going to do with you??!
you best be managing to "take care of yourself" somewhere in there too...
or i'll come chasing you down!
shakin' in your boots now, aren't you??
yeah, i thought so

(speaking of which...
kinda related p.s. down bottom...)


>>I'm glad that you are following through with the medical stuff (not much choice, huh?)<<

nope, not really.
i actually didn't have so much as a thought of 'resistance' even!?
are there pigs flying in lancaster too??!


>>It seems like a cruel joke to have colorectal problems when you are as doctor phobic as you are. Life does make you humble.<<

no kidding.
*grumble, grumble*


>>I hope that you are able to avert surgery, but on the other hand, there are plenty worse things.<<

that is the truest of all tho.
hasn't been the most joyous experience clearly.
kind of surreal in a way.
but for one thing, physically speaking, 'there are plenty worse things'
and even if i did have to have surgery--
i've been thru worse and much scarier just in the past few years.
physical pain/illness ain't no fun,
but i'll take it any day of the week over the mental/emotional/whatever kind...


that being said, i'm doing "okay" too.
continuing the slooowww 'climb up'
have my not-so-good 'moments' sure,
but mostly i'm 'stable' i guess?
something like that


working my way thru the class--
which is definitely much more for me than learning java.
allows/pushes/makes (depending on my mood du jour, heh) me deal w/ a lot more.

ex.--i've got 2 more weeks of classes i think.
up until/thru the midterm, i was totally "getting" everything.
attention span and such aside,
programming definitely appeals to that math-y/concrete side of my brain.
at the moment, however, i'm suddenly feeling lost.
which you can imagine, i reaalllly don't like. (grrrrrrrrrr)
but lucky me, it's an "opportunity" ( ) to work on some 'stuff'--
'accepting' where i am at the moment;
sticking w/ it and NOT doing that old 'well, just fuck it then.' routine.
perhaps stop being so damn stubborn and wanting to figure it out all on my own--
and ask for help??!!
ok, shockingly i know, definitely haven't gotten to that last one yet.
anyways, you get the point.

i am planning to take the 'other 1/2' of this class in the fall.
and *thinking* of taking a 2nd course as well??
i guess a big thing right now is the whole 'balance' dilemma--
not pushing myself TOO hard, but still challenging myself take the next 'reasonable' step.
(of course, i also "should" be thinking about a part-time job or something--
somehow that's a good bit higher on the 'scary scale' still...)
so anyways, haven't made a final decision yet.

although the additional course i'm feeling drawn to??
creative writing?!?!
i mean, so many 'issues' there, old and new.
so real contradictory it seems, yeah??

well, pat's on vacation this week,
but something to 'figure out' in the next few i guess


goddess, i can ramble.
i know, hardly news
some other various stuff going on,
but i guess school and its collection of assoc. issues
IS making up the biggest chunk of time currently.
so i'll save the rest for later, heheh.

hugs and a tweety kiss
m.

ps--
i figure i should 'remind' you of this now,
so maybe it'll happen in the next decade.
you DO still owe me a visit.
(actually more than 1 i'm pretty sure.
yup.
but i'll stick w/ 1 long-shot at a time )
a "real" one too.
(translate: NOT in a mh facility!)**
i realize a decade may not be overshooting it much--
but you know how persistent i can be...
*cough*

**[[note: last 2 times i've seen her, we visited at her work;
in both cases _naturally_,
we were supposed to go out, have a nice lunch or something,
and then 17 different things came up last minute so we couldn't...t.y.p.i.c.a.l.]]